Betrayal

One thing that all people who claim to know me have to say about me is that I am moral, dignified and trustworthy, a good person all in all.

I sometimes pointed out in vain something. Something that the three or four people who really know me have pointed out themselves: that simply because I am not a cruel-hearted and uncaring bastard does not make me the bastion of dignity, morality and goodness that I choose to put on display.

These virtues that I, along with everybody else who knows them, so admire in my parents are virtues that have to be proven by test in tempering hardships.

I could certainly be conceited, indifferent, cold, uncaring or anything that people born even in the tiniest bit of privillege tend to become. I do believe that I am a good person.

However, the core of these virtues was hardly ever tested in me. Hardly did I ever come to the need to prove anything as in the majority of situations I lorded above my peers.


It has come to pass these past hours, days and months that I have betrayed these things time and again. I have betrayed the virtues I professed belief in, I have betrayed, lied to, hurt and exploited my friends and I have betrayed myself.

I have fallen low. I have irreversibly proven myself weak. Weak and undignified.

Now is the time to set things straight. Try to give back to people that which they have given to me freely, even after I have betrayed their emotions, their love and trust.

I will have to rise up to the challenge (maybe for the first time in my life). And to make the ultimate sacrifice of that which has brought me so low.

"Passion is a strict lord / He is also its humble slave."

Not even passion, not even true love can justify betrayal. And the reckless hurting of other people because one cannot endure the pain. This is High Treason.

Enough. Enough now.

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